"Idk I’m tired" is probably the best excuse for anything ever

"Why did you leave the party early" "Idk I’m tired"

"why’d you cook your grandmother" "idk im tired"

"Why did you invade Poland?" "Idk I’m tired."

"why did you cook you’re grandmother at the party in Poland?" "Idk im tired"


trying to avoid someone you hate but have to come into contact with every day


(Source: 2pcanadas)


Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.

But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.

"Some people make love like they are speaking
in a second language; stumbling awkwardly over
one another, every movement so rehearsed it
is depleted of soul and devoid of all passion.
Without comprehending one another completely,
the meaning, the truth, in the act is lost.
But you and I fuck like we are speaking in our
firsts; it is deliberate and instinctual, natural,
effortless, we fall into each other, over and over
like simple, quiet, wonderful, conversation."



what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?


i hate this i hate u 


instead of desexualizing womens halloween costumes we should sexualize mens costumes and make it equal. i want boys in underwear and cat ears

install theme